I need a holiday!

I know, I know, so do you. And him. And her. Everyone needs a holiday.

I'm at the stage where I can't stand going to work. Can't bear thinking of work. Afraid. Alone.

Perhaps the stress is too much for me to bear. I find myself crumbling under its sheer weight.

I am not happy. I thought my new job could motivate me, instill some drive in me. But it didn't / hasn't / never will.

I grapple, I grope. I am trapped in the tunnel of despair, desperation. Longing to get out.

I start questioning my ability. Feel small. Expectations loom high. My superior says things that put me down. I cry. Feel discouraged. Asshole.

I resolve to try my best. Not to put too much pressure on myself. To take harsh words with a pinch of salt. Not to be afraid of admitting that I don't know. To speak up. To learn from my peers. To shout out when the going gets too tough. To take pride in my work. To learn from mistakes and failures. To face uncertainties with an open mind and see it as a learning opportunity.

Yes I can do it. Nothing is impossible.